Welcome to my Bloggrography! About the Blogger just didn’t tickle my fancy, and I take any opportunity I can to make up words, which you’ll soon find out. So without further ado, here is your personal recipe for one Kota Bear:
1 part Sarcasm
3 parts Laughter
10 parts Awesome
5 parts Fun
1/2 part Old Man
1 Part Spactastnificent*
1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Combine Sarcasm, Laughter, and Old Man into a bowl and beat on low setting until thick.
3. Mince Awesome and Fun, and slowly add to previous mixture while stirring with spoon.
4. Don protective glasses and gloves and mix in Chemical X, stirring cautiously.
5. Pour into baking pan and spread thin layer of Spactastnificent on top.
6. Bake for approximately 9 months or until satisfyingly handsome.
* Upon further consideration, it occurred to me that many people may not be aware of what spactastnificent is or where to find it. The following will be a detailed, albeit brief, review of the word, its definition, and its uses:
Spactastnificent – adj. from the Greek, Spactastnificentia: Imagine if the word scrumtrilescent and JK Rowling’s greatest invention, Dumbledore, had a bastard child. And put him up for adoption secretly. And he was adopted by the Queen of England. And raised with an English accent but the perfect teeth of an American teen who has just recently completed the painful moving process associated with braces. Then forget all of that, and imagine the most awesome thing you can.. Then multiply that by 8.
But now that you know what Spactastnificent is, where you ask may you get your grubby little hands on 1 part of it? That, my friends, is a very good question indeed. Scientists and National Treasure fans the world over have long sought the elusive Spactastnificent plant, thought heretofore only to be found in Narnia. However, September 16th 1990 a child was born with Spactastnificent levels out of this world. There was only one explanation: he was from Narnia. So they named him Kota Bear and taught him the ways of human language and interaction in the hopes that he would one day lead his people to the Spactastnificent fields from whence they sprang.